Saturday, January 07, 2006
"A billion dollars? I suppose now that I have it I will have to take a pie to the face and get sued by the Justice Department."
Not Enough Room to Receive It
A couple is on vacation and is looking for somewhere inexpensive to eat breakfast. They find this little restaurant. They look at the menus and the prices are extremely reasonable. They think that at that price they will get tiny portions. When they get their order they get a huge stack of pancakes and each cake is think and wide. The side of eggs they ordered turned out to be gigantic. The food looked delicious and the best part is that they stayed well within their vacation budget. As they looked at this feast the wife looks at the husband and says, "How am I supposed to eat all this?"
Gambled and Lost
A guy has a couple of Canadian quarters that he has been trying to ditch for months. He takes them accross the border and puts them in the first machine he finds. It is a slot machine. On the first quarter he hits the jackpot and the machine starts spitting hundreds of quarters at him.
"Doesn't that just figure. I go from two quarters I can't get rid of to a pile of quarters I can't get rid of."
Messed Over by the Exchange Rate
Guy from Montana wins 7 million dollars in the Canadian lottery.
"What a rip off, once I change it to US dollars it will probably only be 4 million."
Is this what they call being saved by grace?
After a long life of questionable activities, a man still finds himself in line to get into Heaven. “Even in death I’m waiting in line. One, two, three, . . . There must be fifty people in front of me. This is going to take forever.”
Friday, January 06, 2006
One lost in the depths of depression morns,"If anything can go wrong, it must be my life."
You Are Such a Geek
A guy that had a hobby of tinkering with computers. His budget always kept him to using old used parts and he was always short on storage space for all of his data that he was playing with. One day someone gave him a new 200 Gigabyte hard disk. He had been previous getting by with a couple of old 10 gig drives and stacks of CDs and floppies. He had spent a lot of time maintaining his small drives and it was very time consuming. After the initial elation of having all that space he paused and thought, "This is going to take forever to format. And just wait until I have to defrag that thing."